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An Interview With the G-Man:
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Joe Mariani

Number of people freed from totalitarian dictatorships by precision use of American military force under George W. Bush:
50 million in just two years

Number of people freed from totalitarian dictatorships by anti-American Bush-bashing terrorist-appeasing whining elitists:
Zero. Ever.

The problem seems to me to be the definition of "free speech". Liberals define it as anything they want to say or do that opposes America. I say "speech" ends where "action" begins. Once you pick up a gun for the enemy, throw a rock at a cop during a "peace" march, send money to a terrorist organisation, or travel to Baghdad to block an American JDAM with your ass, you have crossed the line from free speech to costly action.

Saying the War on Terror is all about al-Qaeda is like saying we should have fought the Japanese Naval Air Force after Pearl Harbor. Not the Japanese Navy, not the Japanese Army, not the Empire of Japan -- just the Naval Air Force.

Complaining about the "waste" when human embryos are destroyed instead of being used in medical experiments is a lot like going to a funeral and complaining about the waste of perfectly good meat.

Blaming CO2 for climate change is like blaming smoke for the fire. CO2 is largely a following, not a leading, indicator of a rise in temperature.

Cavalier's First Theorem:
Every time, Liberals will fight to protect the guilty and kill the innocent, while Conservatives will fight to protect the innocent and punish the guilty.

Cavalier's Second Theorem:
Liberals are just Socialists who want to be loved... then again, Socialists are just Communists who lack the courage of their convictions.

Cavalier's Third Theorem:
Any strongly moral, hawkish or pro-American statement by a Liberal will inevitably be followed by a "but."


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When Democrats Attack
Did prominent Democrats switch positions on Iraq just to attack President Bush for political gain? (See the updated list.)

Was Iraqi Freedom Justified?
An honest, step-by-step analysis of the Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq that Congress voted into law shows that it was.

Saddam's Philanthropy of Terror
Details of solid ties to organised international terrorism

How The Left Betrayed Iraq
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Did We Botch The Occupation?
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The Fatal Conceit:
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Articles Previously Published at

- When Good Liberals Go Bad - 05/29/03
- How Stupid Do Democrats Think You Are? - 05/31/03
- Who Are These 'Rich' Getting Tax Cuts, Anyway? - 06/02/03
- How Can We Miss The Clintons If They Won't Go Away? - 06/04/03
- Whining of Mass Distraction: How To Discredit A President - 06/05/03
- Liberal "Rules" for Arguing - 06/10/03
- Liberalism: Curable or Terminal? - 06/14/03
- Filibustering Judges: Hijacking Presidential Powers? - 06/17/03
- Is Hamas Exempt from the War on Terror? - 06/22/03
- How Malleable Is The Constitution? - 06/26/03
- Rejecting Our Biological and Cultural Heritage - 06/30/03
- I Need Liberal Assistance, Now! - 07/02/03
- Bring Them On - 07/03/03
- We Need You Arrogant Warmongering Americans...Again - 07/09/03
- Much Ado About Nothing, Again - 07/13/03
- Double Standard: Blindly Blame Bush - 07/18/03
- Was WWII Also Unjustified? - 07/20/03
- Clinton Backing Bush? Don't Bet On It! - 07/24/03
- How To Be A Hypocritical Liberal - 07/28/03
- The Clinton Legacy: In Answer to Mr. Stensrud - 07/30/03
-What Is 'Good News' To Liberals? - 08/02/03
- Bush's Big Blunder - 08/06/03
- The Meaning of Right - Why I Supported the Iraq War - 08/10/03
- More Liberal "Rules" for Arguing - 08/14/03
- You Can Have Cary Grant; I'll Take John Wayne! - 08/19/03
- Where Is The ACLU When It's Actually Needed? - 08/25/03
- Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Ten Commandments? - 08/28/03
- From The Weasels: Thanks For Nothing - 08/30/03
- The Liberal Superfriends - 09/02/03
- Liberal Superfriends 2: The Sequel - 09/05/03
- Saddam and 9/11: Connect the Dots - 09/08/03
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Saturday, August 20, 2005
What If They Protested Cindy?

Due to a sympathetic, agenda-driven media, a slow news month, and support from high-powered Liberal groups, most people know who Cindy Sheehan is. (Pop quiz: without looking it up, can you put a face to any other parent who lost a child in Iraq?) For those who don't, she's the anti-Bush demonstrator who's allowed the loony Left fringe to use her son's death in Iraq as an attack on the President for liberating Iraq, as well as a shield from any examination of their accusations or motives. She's become a human megaphone, allowing every Left-wing lunatic with an axe to grind to blast accusations and demands through her. She has said the US had no business overthrowing the Taliban, demanded that Israel withdraw from "Palestine" (which, according to Palestinians, includes Israel), claimed we're waging a "war for oil," and asserted that "this country is not worth dying for."

I feel really badly for Cindy Sheehan. The poor woman's grief over her son's death has been hijacked by far Left radicals to further their own ends; when they're done using her they'll just toss her aside. She might do a couple of talk shows, put her name and face on a ghost-written book, and then vanish back into the obscurity she enjoyed when she praised President Bush for being "sincere about wanting freedom for the Iraqis".

In the meantime, she's allowed the "usual suspects" to use her like the family car -- everyone gets to borrow it to run their own errands. Groups like (owned by George Soros, and claiming ownership of the Democrats), United for Peace and Justice and Code Pink (both wholly-owned subsidiaries of the Heinz Family Foundation by way of Global Exchange and the Tides Corporation) have gotten into the act. If she were in her right mind, would she ally with the kind of people who actively root against America in favor of our enemies? Obviously, the poor woman is unhinged by grief. Her entire family is begging her to stop this travesty. She ought to listen to them.

Cindy's descent into madness has been sad, even tragic. Still, it does not grant her the right to demand that the President give her an opportunity to spew radical Liberal anti-war propaganda at him for the media's benefit. I'm sorry for the loss of her son, as I believe most everyone is. But I'm also sorry for the loss of her dignity and self-command, and her loss of respect for her son. For by allying herself with the same people who call his killers heroes or freedom fighters and compare them to Minutemen, she has repudiated what he believed in. He was killed by people trying to put a nation back in chains. She is letting others use Casey's death to attack what he held dear enough to put himself in danger to achieve -- a free and stable democratic Iraq.

Casey Sheehan should have made front-page news as a hero of the Iraq war -- a 24-year-old man who re-enlisted to go with his unit to Iraq, and volunteered for the dangerous rescue mission during which he was killed. Instead of a hero, he's portrayed as a witless child who earned and deserved no honors. His mother lamented that she should have "taken him to Canada," as though, in some fantasy of hers, he had been drafted and wanted to escape. If she had done so, Casey would have come straight back to do his duty. "Thatís all he wanted to do was serve God and his country his whole life," his sister Carly told the Associated Press when he died. That's not the duped little boy we hear about from the protesters in Crawford.

Mrs. Sheehan has left Crawford and her patchwork group of supporters, requesting the media give her privacy after weeks of seizing every possible opportunity to grab the spotlight. Her mother has suffered a stroke, and will hopefully recover in a Los Angeles hospital. Meanwhile, I wonder what it would look like were the tables turned, with anti-Cindy protesters demanding impossible answers to senseless questions.

LOS ANGELES (CA) - President Bush and his supporters have set up a camp outside the hospital where Cindy Sheehan's mother is recovering from a stroke, despite Sheehan's request for privacy. "We are not leaving until Cindy comes out to tell us the real reason for her mother's stroke," demanded the President. "I just want to ask why."

Bush supporters and other anti-hospital groups have littered the hospital grounds with crosses bearing the names of stroke, diabetes and cancer victims, without asking the families of those victims for permission to do so. "We're here to save people from debilitating strokes and other diseases, by protesting this and all hospitals," said an unnamed protester. "Doesn't anyone see the obvious link between hospitals and illness? You always find sick people in hospitals!"

The National Institutes of Health and the Center for Disease Control have sent spokespeople to explain that the protesters are reversing cause and effect, to no avail. Despite claims that hospitals don't cause diseases, but help victims recover from them, the protesters remain unconvinced. President Bush has his own explanation for strokes, in particular. "We know that Mama Sheehan's stroke was caused by the close proximity of the Moon to Earth," stated the President. "People will continue to fall victim to these deadly attacks until the Moon is forced to move out of Earth's orbit." The President and his supporters demand that this be done immediately, though how they expect the feat to be accomplished they cannot say.

Other hospital protesters blame various illnesses on the decline of astrology as a reliable guide to stock market investing, the rise in celebrity trials resulting in acquittals, elf arrows and Michael Moore. Some people, marrying their own cause to that of President Bush, compared Moore to the Moon. All are agreed, however, that the link between sickness and hospitals is undeniable, citing the fact that more disease victims can be found in hospitals than in any other place.

"They call it 'recovering' and 'healing,' but we know that hospitals are the place to find all sorts of diseases and ailments," a slick, professionally-produced anti-hospital leaflet reveals. "That's where people go to 'study' such things." A color-coded map of LA showing the highest concentrations of illnesses in the city validates the anti-hospital claim, showing large colored dots at the location of every hospital.

President Bush and the protesters are vowing to maintain their vigil at the hospital as long as Cindy Sheehan remains inside, or until she agrees to a personal meeting with the President. "I can't wait to tell her to her face how wrong she is for letting this hospital give her mother a stroke." He added apprehensively, "I only hope she won't schedule the meeting during a full moon."

This map proves the link between hospitals and illnesses. Concentrations of diseases and medical problems are shown in yellow, while locations of hospitals are shown in red. Coincidence? *

* Yes, this is satire.

Posted at Saturday, August 20, 2005 by CavalierX

August 21, 2005   10:40 PM PDT

What? No Comment??
August 21, 2005   10:59 PM PDT
Most of the comments so far have been via email; I suppose some people are unwilling to expose their attacks to public rebuttal. One typical email suggested that if I want Cindy Sheehan to shut up, I might be happier living in North Korea. Frankly, the more she talks the sooner the Democrats will stop putting ultra-left-wing wackos in charge, if they ever want to win another election. Another asked whether I worship the State. I replied to ask what I've ever written to make the author think I was a Liberal.
Thea (Your Hostess)
August 21, 2005   11:47 PM PDT
While you make some excellent points about the exploitation of Cindy S.'s son, & I agree that her over-verabl
Thea (Your Hostess)
August 21, 2005   11:57 PM PDT
Wow, I hit "Post" instead of "Cancel." I meant to start over, not post my half-thoughts. Anyway, good points about the kid. I think it's a damn shame, though, that all this Right/Left division has forced our nation into halves--as in, "Left opposes the war, thinks it's about oil, etc." while "Right supports Bush no matter what." I would love to see a bit of compromise--maybe people figuring out what they actually think, rather than subscribing to the propaganda of one side or the other. I live in an overly liberal town, where acknowledging some belief in what the US is doing right now is tantamount to blacklisting oneself--it seems it's just not admissable to oppose a war that sure as hell seems based on fuel (rather than Iraq freedom), but to also argue that some freedoms are worth protecting. Without this American market, after all, certain rabid liberals wouldn't have access to tofu or fair-trade coffee.
Thea (Your Hostess)
August 21, 2005   11:59 PM PDT
God. Also, nevermind the (Your Hostess) bit. I use that on my own site, but forget to delete sometimes. That's it. I'm done leaving comments. Clever satire, by the way.
August 22, 2005   04:56 PM PDT
Absolutely BRILLIANT satire, Joe! Scott Ott (ScrappleFace for those who aren't familiar with his blog) couldn't have said it better -- and I consider him a "living legend" in the world of modern satire!

Thea, I appreciate your TRYING to suggest the need for "compromise" between the Left and the Right in this country, but the issues over the war in Iraq and the bigger question of how to combat Islamofascists around the world creates a clear divide between the two sides in this national debate. It's unfortunate that you choose the example of this effort in Iraq being somehow "based on fuel" since there has not been one shred of "evidence" (only liberal rants and unfounded polemics aimed at bringing down the President rather than advancing a legitimate debate) that the war in Iraq is "all about oil". To the contrary, it should be clear to everyone by now that, if we wanted Iraqi oil, we could have simply annihilated that country and helped ourselves to ALL of their oil, rather than investing billions of dollars and sacrificing the lives of our brave men and women in uniform to enable the establishment of a free, democratic Iraq.

No, this debate is all about the values, the heart and soul, of our country and how history will judge us from the clear perspective of hindsight. Me, I would much rather be remembered as standing with my President and those willing to take the fight to our enemies where ever they exist in the world rather than waiting, helplessly, for them to decide when and where they will attack us in their murderous jihad. If those on the left are unable or unwilling to see what needs to be done, then upon what should I base any sort of "compromise" about the best way to proceed against those who would destroy us and everything we stand for?

Keep up the GREAT work, Joe! I truly admire your profundity and your tenacity.
August 22, 2005   08:45 PM PDT
>Scott Ott (ScrappleFace for those
>who aren't familiar with his blog)
>couldn't have said it better

Whoa... high praise indeed. Thanks!
August 23, 2005   06:50 PM PDT
So, cindy has cut and run from Crawford, TX.

Is this the exit strategy cindy has been screeching about for weeks now?

cindy, along with her loving co-hort, gael murphy, have dissapointed me, I would have expected a more nuanced departure from the acknowledged experts of specious nonsense.

Mrs. Sheehan has left Crawford and her patchwork group of supporters
August 23, 2005   08:40 PM PDT
>Is this the exit strategy cindy has
>been screeching about for weeks

She's setting the example she wants us to follow. When the going gets tough, it's time to get going. Something like that. :)
August 24, 2005   04:22 PM PDT
CavalierX, I hate it when what you write is so damn good that I can't think of a single thing to type in this little comment box other than telling you that... what you wrote is damn good!


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